Need For Space

My wife and I recently went on vacation in a very small all-inclusive hotel in Mexico.  We both had an excellent time and relaxed a whole bunch. We really enjoyed spending time together but there were times that I just needed to be alone to think, reflect and do certain things for myself.  I was able to allot a few hours during the vacation to smoke a cigar, read and do some writing without anyone around. My wife was also able to do her own thing and we were able to connect again afterwards.

I recently wrote a blog about the importance of taking time to think.  Creating a personal space just for yourself goes along with deep thinking.  Finding your own space away from the chaos of life and responsibilities can allow for creativity, centeredness and overall well being.  You may want to call this your sacred space, place of tranquility, man cave or creative space. I know a gentleman who has a room in his home just for his writing and he spends a set time each day being creative.  For me at home it is my balcony, where unfortunately the pigeons seemed to have claimed it as their place of tranquility as well.

There are times that you’re going to be away on holiday with the wife and children or a work conference and you’re not going to have your usual space.  Even though you may tremendously enjoy spending time with the family or work, it could be beneficial for you to take a walk-about for an hour or two. Being all about the family or business may take its toll and cause frustration or a sense of feeling enclosed after a while.  Much like a cat-nap, you’ll feel more rejuvenated when you have the ability to collect yourself. If you’re with your partner and children you may want to take turns to do this.  

Some people may not agree with this and wonder why someone would want to spend  any time away from the people they love? I get it and encourage them to spend as much quality time with family as needed.  At the same time just remember that you are your own person; someone whom you also need to maintain a relationship with or connect to once in a while.  You have your own dreams, personal plans, desires and talents that need to be developed. You are not merged with anyone and if you think you are, you will lose yourself.  

Some of you may be part of sports teams, attend meetups or other social groups.  I’m also involved in different activities outside of work and family including a men’s group.  It is incredibly beneficial to be connected with others outside of your immediate circle. The main idea I want to stress here is the value of taking time to be with yourself.  Your social networks should not take the place of this space.  

For some this may be an uncomfortable place because the more time you have with yourself the more time you may think of regrets or harp on struggles.  This can be very challenging but it is important for you not to avoid what may come, to pay attention to it and possibly handle it appropriately. It is sometimes easier to deal with the struggles of daily life than to listen to your own voice.  Again, dealing with your negative thoughts by challenging them or seeking help from a therapist is an important step towards self-acceptance and freedom.

So, I encourage you to find your space of tranquility or solace and advocate for it when needed.  When you spend adequate time in this space you can return to the world more relaxed, focused and more ready for challenges ahead.  This may be easier said than done but do your best to try it out.

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